Three months down, 9 more to go.
The LPN program I’m in right now is a lot of work, and that’s not an exaggeration. From learning the anatomy and physiology of the body, pharmacology, various skills like vital signs, GI care, catheters and washing hands, fundamental theories of nursing, math conversions and so much more, my brain is already fried. Five years of college with various semesters taking 20+ credits only slightly prepared me for the workload I currently have.
I go to school six hours a day, four times a week. I study, do homework, read and review almost as much I go to school. I work at least 20 hours per week. I make sure I have one day off where I don’t have school or work. I’m awake at 5:30 a.m. and sometimes don’t get asleep until past 10 p.m. Days where I go to school then work is the absolute worst.
My life has become revolving around school because, it’s true, it takes so much time and energy to do well in nursing school. It’s taking the time to understand how the body functions, how procedures effect the body, learning about medications and all their side effects. It might be easy for some people but for others, like myself, it takes 10 times more effort to do well.
Over the last few months, I’ve taken on too much during my first three months of school. I was thinking I could fit 10 pounds of potatoes in a five pound bag… but I couldn’t. Is that even the right analogy to use?
I’ve spent too many consecutive weekends with friends instead of studying. Staying up until like 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning with friends messing up my entire sleep routine. Spending money I don’t have when one of my goals is trying to save money. I stage managed a show while trying to balance school, life and sudden stress induced health moments.
I’ve had too much fun.
I don’t regret having so much fun, most times I’ve needed it but I need to refocus and put school first as my main priority. I’ve also made myself stressed when there was no need, causing multiple migraines and a sprained jaw. Oh, and I had my second root canal caused by an infection of the nerve (which came out of nowhere!)
I can’t burn out or become this stressed so quickly.
It’s one year, less than one year now. I can wait to have all the fun I want next year when I’m out of school and have a stable job with a steady income as a nurse. Before I know it, 2020 will be here, I will have passed my boards and I’ll be a nurse. Shortly after that, a year to 18 months, I’ll be going back to school to get my BSN to become an RN.
I want nothing more in my life right now than to become a nurse and in the very near future, a RN.
Everything I’ve ever done in my life has revolved around taking care of people or prioritizing people first than myself. Every step, every decision, every moment and every sign I’ve trusted has led me to this.
“What about Fredonia?” my family asks.
My time at Fredonia taught me so much and I constantly use all my skills and knowledge to help me do well in nursing school. Fredonia was not a waste. It allowed me to grow up, mature, gain independence, succeed, fail and learn. I wouldn’t succeed as a nursing student, or nurse for that matter, if I started when I was 18. I had my eyes on the Broadway lights. But now, halfway through 25, I gaze at those Broadway lights from a different point of view.
There are moments where I’ve said, “What if you tried a little harder? What if you decided not to leave theatre as a potential profession?” And then I remind myself that it’s not where I want to be or should be. Theatre is my passion, my first love and honestly, my entire life. Ask any of my friends, I live and breathe theatre. But like I said in my post when I first started school, I’ve changed immensely and as I’ve changed, my goals have changed, too.
Theatre is my home, my comfort, my life. I’ll never let it go.
But I’ve found where I want to be in nursing. I know I don’t know everything, it will come with experience and patience. I’m learning to trust my instincts and being confident in myself to understand what I’m doing.
It’s about finding that levelness, staying calm in situations that definitely won’t be calm… even in the slightest.
But I’m not scared. I was scared of the unknown and what I was doing in theatre, thinking was this profession for me? I don’t get that feeling with becoming a nurse. I’m looking at the signs the universe is giving me and going towards them. I haven’t doubted myself once since starting school.
Okay, only place I’ve doubted myself is in learning medical terminology but that’s very hard not confusing the different suffixes and prefixes. Everything else I’ve gone in confidently!
Most importantly, I still have that excitement, that fire, burning inside me about school. Even on the days I don’t want to be at school. I’m present, I’m ready and I’m kicking it into high gear for the remainder of the first semester. We’ve been back for over a week now after our two week break. We are really hitting the ground running, that’s for sure.
And not to mention, we begin clinicals next month. It’s going by so quickly.
I wouldn’t be adding another stack of money onto my already mile-high student loans if I wasn’t serious. I really want this.
Three months down, 9 more to go. Another update to come in the coming weeks.